Life. Documented

Dec 21, 2010

Day 282 / 365

The very last item of my Christmas shopping arrived today and with it came a great swell of relief. Thank God for online shopping is all I can say, since I wouldn't have a single thing to give any one without it. I wrapped and tagged it, and then set to unwrapping a few little parcels that we'd ordered a while ago but that had been delayed in the winter snow.

I was instantly taken with these candle holders that we bought from Cow & Co., they're so quirky and cute. The sparked the creative in me - something that has been masked by all my ME symptoms for weeks now - and I set up my camera and lit a candle and became awed with the light it threw around. It was one of the first times in a while that I actually felt like myself, with my usual reactions and my usual interests. Unfortunately, my energy levels rapidly depleted and I settled on the sofa to take a look at what I'd captured.

I now know that I'm definitely aiming to get out and about on Christmas Eve to see my family and hand out my presents, but I can gather it's definitely going to be a shaky one. I'll be like Bambi out in the real world.

Dec 20, 2010

Day 281 / 365

I slept for the majority of the day today, getting up only when Stuart called to tell me he was on his way back from town with a McDonalds. After about three weeks of having absolutely no appetite, I'm still in a place where the only things I've been able to force down myself are sandwiches and the occasional Big Mac. The latter is the only thing that actually makes my belly rumble, the rest I could easily skip.

After an intelligent and thoughtful gift from Stu, I spent the evening shopping for music and loading it onto my iPod to plug my ears with sound whenever my thoughts should wonder to a non-conducive place. Music is one of the easiest ways that I've found that allows me to slip into my own little world, one void of too many worries.

Dec 19, 2010

Day 280 / 365

My Dad and Step Mum came to see me today, a visit I have been looking forward to all week. The weather meant that there were no guarantees that they would actually get here, but I was cautiously excited to have some company. Being ill can be strangely lonely at times, so it's nice to have visitors to shake the day up a little and it's especially nice to see my Dad and Step Mum, who always manage to cheer me up and keep me level.

They stayed for a couple of hours, and it was blissful to be able to talk and laugh and be distracted from my own pain and weariness. They brought some presents for Stuart and I, just incase I should still be too ill to get outside come Christmas. It's a depressing thought, but it's a possible reality that I have to accept.

The idea that Christmas is only a few days away seems strangely surreal, presumably since I've been completely isolated from all the usual hub-hub of the run up to all the festivities. Maybe it will hit me quite suddenly; all the excitement, that is.

Dec 18, 2010

Day 279 / 365

Each day is ticking by without much definition to distinguish one from the next. The most joy I can extract from each day is choosing which Hush wears I can crawl into to keep myself warm. It's becoming a little ridiculous, to me, that I need to wear a hat and gloves indoors, as well as at least three or four layers ... just to keep mildly warm. Mind you, it is -10 outside.

Dec 17, 2010

Day 278 / 365

I've had constant troubles repeating my prescription with my doctors for a couple of weeks now. My chemist has kindly taken over the troublesome parts of faxing in the request and picking it up from the surgery; something that has been a huge help for me, since I'm constantly fretting about when I next need to arrange for more medication. The last couple of times, however, there's been a mix up and I've ended up with some meds missing, this has included my sleeping tablets.

The result is that for the past few nights, my sleep has returned to being patchy and unreliable so I'm consequently suffering for it in the day. To keep my brain from dwelling too much on my varying, ever growing list of painful ailments, I've taken to working my way through my book collection. Today - after finishing all my Sookie Stackhouse Novels - I reached for my well thumbed copy of Twilight. Evidently I'm in a vampire kind of mood.

My Dad and Step Mum treating me to a McDonalds, something that, despite my lack of appetite, I've been craving for about a month now in the inexplicable way that I want certain foods from time to time. My Dad's knee couldn't sustain the stairs, so my Step Mum and little brother delivered the bag of calorific goodness, gave me some big hugs and left again to go home. It was a welcome visit, and the company - no matter how short - was warmly welcome and a definite boost for me. I don't feel down as such, but I'm definitely struggling to keep my head above water with the ME ... I feel like I'm drowning in my symptoms.

On a happier note, today is my big Brother's birthday, he's currently in Canada with his family, but he'll hopefully be home in March ... something I'll be looking forward to immensely.